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Tales about the 12 Apostles Tour usually begin with someone new to the Great Ocean Road going on & on about those towering coastal pillars & the stormy Southern Ocean swells — but let me cut through the fluff — a sad-looking meat pie and a half-broken air conditioner was all that got me through my first trip down the Great Ocean Road.

I’m Paul Beames, and if you’re gearing up to head out that way , you’re probably after some practical info — not just shiny marketing fluff . You’re staring down the barrel of one of Australia’s most hammered day trip circuits , so just turning up is not enough — the trick is to dodge the worst of the traffic , the weather, the road and whoever’s blocking traffic because they’re terrified of corners.

Every trip along the Great Ocean Road keeps you on your toes — a road closed apparently "out of the blue", a gust of wind that'll shake your car and make you wonder if it's going to stay on the road, or a country cafe closed for no reason at all "just because". But you can handle all that with a bit of planning . I’ve been shepherding thousands of travellers along this coastline through Get Lost Travel Group over the years, and the ones who had the best time were the ones who came prepared and knew what they wanted from the day.

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